Usually when he needed a break to get him back in focus, he hit the gym from anywhere to a half an hour to a few hours. Swimming, racquetball, basketball, running, anything that got his heart pumping and got rid of the nervous energy that develops while sitting in one position in class or in the computer lab. This time, though, it was getting really late and he decided to save the assignment for tomorrow morning before class.
He leaned back, making the computer lab chair creak and pop as it supported his muscular torso and clean cut head stretched out over the top. He rubbed his freshly shorn head and stretched back forward, reaching for the mouse and keyboard to close everything up.
Just one more click. He glanced through the drop down menu of friends’ blogs and scrolled to Justin. Click. Funny man Justin must not have had time to blog this week, it’s the same blog as a few days ago. The mouse skimmed up to the top right corner towards the big red X. Wait, what’s this? Click. The button read “Next Blog.” William is digitally whisked to someone else’s blog, their thoughts coursing through miles and miles of cable from what appeared to be Japan. A couple of interesting pictures, but no words he could understand. Click. German. Click. A blog dedicated to promoting a weight loss product. Click.
William’s eyes widened. “Rapunzel” flourished across the top in a sweeping font. The caption underneath read, “My lifeline thrown out of my tower, for expressing myself to the unknown is my only relief from captivity.”
A little dramatic, Will thinks to himself as he reads her profile. “It doesn’t really matter where I’m from or what I’m like, you will never meet me and even if we did meet, you would never know it was me. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, so come on, let’s dance anyway!”
Will can’t help but read on about this anonymous woman. She could be anywhere and she doesn’t know he is the one ogling her thoughts from a college computer lab in Logan, Utah. The ambiguity and anonymity of the web makes it as intriguing as it is perilous.
The first entry is less than a week old followed by one posted this morning. Scrolling to the bottom, Will started with the first entry.
"12 September I’m not really sure who to address this to, since nobody I know can ever find out about this blog. My parents are already in a habit of checking all of my email before I do, so this is the way I have come up with to pop the stopper on my bottled emotions. I guess if that’s weird or scary, nobody will keep reading and I can use this as my own personal journal to spill my guts to. Who wants to listen to a 22 year old shut in anyway? If I want to hang out with my Dad at all, I can’t be exposed to sicknesses that his chemotherapied body can’t handle. I take my Vitamin C every day, drink lots of water, get lots of sleep… it’s almost like I’m the one that is sick all the time.
"Today is the day that he found out last year. One year of doctor appointments, treatments, tears and a regular roller coaster of finding hope, losing it and finding it again. The man I knew a year ago as the strongest man in the world, my rock, has been reduced to a skinny, pale, balding man with a quiet voice and sad eyes. The only mother I’ve ever known, my Step Mom Alice, is taking things really hard. I don’t remember life before Alice; I was only 3 when they got married. What kid loses both parents to cancer?”
William was acutely aware of his heart beating in his chest. Everything around him moved in slow motion as the mystery woman’s words sunk in. He was in her world, feeling what she was feeling. Should he be reading this? Should he be privy to the thoughts and emotions that she was writing to no one in particular? He vowed to shut everything down after he read the most recent post and then go home to sleep.
"13 September So, I realized how depressing that last post really must sound when I reread it today. Anniversaries can be so depressing.
"Today was my first day of classes this semester. I didn’t get to take any last year due to the Dad thing, but after working all last year and keeping the job I have now, I’m able to pay for it all myself instead of putting that extra burden on my parents. I’m so excited!! I talked to my counselor today and because I killed myself those first two years, I’m actually well into my Junior credits even though I’m just starting my Junior year. Yes!” Will smiled, he knew the feeling.
"While l was out running yesterday, I came up over this hill just as the sun was rising. When I left, the sky had been all purple and gray after the rain yesterday. The air was like Heaven to breathe and I felt like I was gliding as I ran down this little dirt road. I like to run that road because of its little hills and curves; it looks different every time I go there. I got a little farther than usual before the sun finally came up since it’s getting to be fall and everything. Anyway, as I came up over this little hill, the sun peeked out from behind the mountain and ignited the leftover rain clouds. They were golden and pink and orange. I picked my favorite one and pictured my Mom peeking out from behind it winking at me with her sideways, dimpled grin. I’ll never stop running if it means I get to have moments like that."
Will sat in awe realizing for the first time that he had been smiling the whole time. What a beautiful person, he thought. She’s so real, but she gushes about things she’s really passionate about. I think I might like to read about her again, sometime. How can I…? Will made a couple of clicks and sent the link to her page to himself in an email that he could check later on.
The walk home seemed much shorter than usual as he pictured the sunrise in his mind. He had seen many sunrises on his own runs and they were always amazing. That God would give us such a peek into Heaven was an amazing gift, he had always thought.
In a couple of days’ time, Will found himself back in the computer lab programming the next part of his assignment. His mind wandered to the mystery girl and her morning runs. In fact, he had not been able to get her out of his mind for the past couple of days. He had even dreamed about a beautiful girl running with long, flowing hair flying behind her. He wanted desperately to find her page in his email and read about her some more, but he knew his assignment would suffer if he tried to split his attention. He made himself finish the programming before peeking in on his friendly stranger’s thoughts. Never had an assignment gotten done so quickly!
After a click here and there, Rapunzel’s page came up once again. The background had changed to a landscape view of a beautiful sunrise. The pink and gold clouds repeated themselves down the page as he scrolled down to check the posts that he had missed.
She had not missed a day of writing, while Will had. He leaned his chin on his hand as he eagerly read.
“14 September Daddy’s doing well today. He went golfing with his buddy, Earl. Earl and Daddy have been more brothers than friends since I can remember. He introduced my Mom and Dad, actually. I like Earl; he has always been there for my Dad. He has a son he’s determined I should marry, but I like him anyway.
"I have a hard time imagining what it would be like to be married. I feel like I am married to my family. Mom (Alice) doesn’t always get out of bed in the morning in time for Daddy’s appointments, so I usually take him. She deals by buying junk food and literally sits on the couch watching TV and eating bon bons. Dad says to give her time and that she’ll come to terms with it all someday. Sometimes I feel like I’m not allowed to be depressed. What good would that do me? I have too much to do and Daddy needs someone to drive him around. Plus, Billy and Zach need rides to school and stuff. Mom actually did that once this week, so maybe she will get better. Sometimes she just rides with me and that’s better than sitting at home, I guess. I never go anywhere just for me."
"My stalker wrote me another email and they deleted it. Nobody has figured out how he keeps finding me and, I thought I’d never say this, but I’m glad my parents delete the emails before I see them. They save copies of them if we ever figure out who the sicko is. That’s why this blog is top secret. While I need to express myself, it would be horrible if he found out about it somehow. I think I’ve done enough, I guess I can only hope."
Will sat up in his chair. That is something he could help her with. He would be able to program around things so that she could appear anonymous while using her home computer. How could he tell her without coming off as a stalker himself?
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